Deciding to get a divorce is never easy. But it becomes an even more difficult situation when you and your spouse have kids. You may no longer love each other and want to separate legally, but it is still your responsibility to think about your kids’ best interest.
Some divorced parents will receive joint custody, which means that they both share responsibility for the children. There are also times when only one parent retains custody, while the other gets to have visitation rights. In Santa Fe, a judge will determine the amount of child support your kids need with their best interest in mind.
Aside from paying child support, what else can you do to ensure that you can support your kids well even after a divorce? While co-parenting may be difficult considering your marriage did not work out, this does not mean that it is impossible to pull off. When you and your ex work as a team and are willing to make co-parenting work, your children will have a happy and balanced upbringing. Here are a few co-parenting tips that successful co-parents live by.
Find an effective communication channel
Finding an effective communication strategy is a must for both parents to discuss what’s best for the children. You may find it hard to talk with your ex in person, but that’s what technology is for. To avoid confrontations, you can opt to call, text, chat, or email your ex instead. But never use the kids as your messengers. This way, you can still talk about your kids’ welfare until you are both ready to be in speaking terms.
Never speak negatively of your ex
Many divorced couples find it hard not to talk about the bad things they hate about their ex. This is understandable, especially if the divorce was a nasty one. But when it comes to your kids, avoid talking negatively about their other parent. This can cause more harm than good to your children. If you do need to talk negatively about your ex, wait until your kids can’t hear and find an adult you can talk to about your frustrations.
Be civil with your ex
You may no longer love your ex, but that does not mean that you should not remain civil, especially when the kids are around. Remember that co-parenting is not about the two of you; it’s about the kids. You should understand that everything you do now is for the kids’ sake. Put your feelings aside and be flexible enough to give your kids a sense of family. Just because they came from a broken family does not mean that both parents can no longer be kind to each other.
Make visitations and transitions uncomplicated
While your kids can be with your ex most of the time, they need to say goodbye to you even just during weekends. Don’t make the transition harder. Help your kids pack in advance and let them know when they will be leaving and returning. Give them enough time and space to get used to the new setup, establish a routine they can expect once they return, and be willing to listen to them when they are ready to talk.
Many people think that co-parenting is a complicated thing to do. But in reality, it is the parents that make co-parenting a hard task. When both parents are willing to cooperate, the children will benefit from it and still have a good childhood despite the divorce. Take note that the key to successful parenting is to set aside your differences, be civil to each other, and only think about the kids’ best interest.
